Peter Loring

 Peter Loring

New York

Liz: “Have you ever felt limited by your stutter?”

Peter: “Growing up I had my limitations because of my speech. I used it to turn to music as a way to express myself. By the time I was 19, I'd played at Lincoln Center, Carnegie Hall, Alice Tully Hall, Avery Fischer Hall, and had done hundreds of gigs, so... I found another avenue to express myself in spite of my speech.”

L: “That's amazing! What do you play?”

P: “Clarinet, sax, oboe, flute, bassoon, guitar, bass, drums, piano, keyboard percussion, violin, viola, cello, mandolin, and I sing.”

L: “What have you learned from living with a stutter?”

P: “The world has good people and a**holes in it. I learned more patience as I got older. I learned that my "adversity" is easier than some people's and not even in the same galaxy as others. I learned that, really, it’s only my voice. My brain works fine, and I do like to use my brain, so if I've got something to say, the other person.... can wait.”

L: “What a positive outlook!”

P: “At 21, I was the assistant manager for Sam Goody. If you're not old enough, it was a record store. (Yes, they actually existed at one point in time) I had a whole staff underneath me, it was fun. The following summer I was a counselor at a camp run by UCP (United Cerebral Palsy). Now THOSE kids had issues. Many were in wheel chairs, couldn't feed themselves, dress themselves, or go to the bathroom by themselves… And I'm supposed to feel sorry for ME? Someone always has it worse.”

L: “Sounds like you really gained some perspective. What advice would you give other people who stutter?”

P: “Its only speech. A great book can have a cover that is ripped to shreds, but the internal content is what counts. I think that we kind of do a self fulfilling prophecy when it comes to interacting with others… ‘Oh crap, I hope I don't stutter, I hope they listen to me, I hope I don't make a fool of myself’ and... We kind of shoot ourselves in the foot before we even get started. I'm single and dating. I have no problems meeting women. I've gone on many first dates and just as often as not, I'm not interested in a second date. My speech hasn't turned me into Quasimodo.... This will sound horrible but... It’s ONLY our speech, not the quality of our character...”

L: “That's very inspiring. Do you think your character would be any different if you didn't stutter? Some people say it makes them more compassionate or patient.”

P: “I disagree. While I think that the stuttering could potentially increase patience, if you read what shows up on the different Facebook pages, there is anger, fear, frustration, a need to belong that borders on depression. I've gotten chastised for standing up for myself when others said it would have been a great chance to "educate". Personally? F*** that. Rude is rude. Granted, heat can forge steel or melt butter. It's our inner strength and strength of character that defines us and not our speech. As I told you before, I worked with severely handicapped kids when I was all of 21 years old. There are many adults who wouldn't be able to stomach what I did. I didn't think twice about it. A good person is a good person regardless of their physical quirks. Rhetorical question for you.... Would a patient or compassionate person hit on or send unwanted messages to a woman who stutters just because they think that having a common "disability" makes them a good fit? A good person is a good person and an a**hole is an a**hole regardless.”

L: “That's extremely insightful. And I definitely agree about people being rude. People make excuses. "Oh, they didn't know you stutter." That never made sense to me. They still can tell me talk differently/abnormally, even if they don't know what it's called.”

P: “Bingo. Manners are manners. Unfortunately so many have been cowed by their speech to the point that they've started to view themselves as inferior. I know what my limitations are and there are 3 jobs I'll NEVER have.... Air traffic controller, auctioneer, and a 911 operator. That being said, not everyone can do what I do for a living. So it's all good.”

I really enjoyed talking to Peter. He has some great insight for both people who stutter and those who are fluent. In all walks and situations in life we have to stick up for ourselves. 

Keep Calm and Stutter On!