Tubthumping

In my workplace, we serve a lot of police officers. Most of them come in fairly often, several times a week. Well, a few weeks back, one of them was really rude to me. I think we were talking about diet drinks, he was saying he didn’t like the way they tasted it and I was attempting to ask him if he had tried Coke Zero. I usually stutter when I say the word “zero” and this time was no different. I didn’t even get to finish my attempt to say it when he began to make sounds that I can’t think of a way to describe except “porky-pig” sounds, and then he chuckled. Most people will confirm that I am never one to let someone run over me. I almost always stand up for myself, especially in situations like this. But this time, I simply stopped trying to say “zero” and just stared at him. Finished making his and his partner’s drinks and walked away. I still have no idea why I didn’t say anything and I instantly regretted it.  I thought about it all morning. I know there isn’t, but it almost seems like there is a statute of limitations of confronting someone. Which is far from the truth. Why should time make a difference on when you let someone know that their behavior is childish and inappropriate? It shouldn’t. But none the less. I delivered the food to their table and said nothing.

I tried to forget about what happened and couldn’t so I ended up telling a coworker about it. One of the first things they said was “maybe he didn’t know,” which is when I realized maybe that’s why I didn’t want to say anything to stick up for myself: because it probably wouldn’t ultimately matter. People think because they don’t have all of the information in the world about a person, that it gives them a right to be an asshole. FALSE. Regardless of whether you stutter or are fluent, NEVER let someone make you feel like crap and then respond with “well, I didn’t know that…” Being rude is rude. Period.

I told another coworker about the situation, because I obviously still didn’t feel okay about it. During our lunch rush, the two officers came in again and my coworker asked me if I wanted him to confront the offending officer. I told him, it didn’t matter to me, but that I wouldn’t stop him if he wanted to. He left and went and spoke with the officer. He returned a moment later and told me that the officer wanted to talk to me. I walked over and the officer told me that he was so sorry and that (of course) he had no idea that I stuttered! Like I always do, I said “It is okay,” even though it was not okay at all. I appreciated his apology, and it might have been an OK situation if the conversation had stopped there. After I awkwardly said that it was “okay,” he paused and then said “Well, now I kind of feel bad.”

             

          SERIOUSLY. WTF. What do I even say to that? I should have said “Well… you should feel bad! You were rude!” I started to. All I could get out was “Well…” and a shrug. Has anyone ever experienced that before? And if I was still upset at that point, most people would respond as if I was being a bitch. “He apologized! He didn’t know you stuttered. What else do you want?” they might say. But in reality, I had a lot to be upset about. I was disrespected and made to feel like I was a bad person for having it brought to my offender’s attention. I deserve respect. You deserve respect.

          

          In my fantasy looking back on that last conversation, instead of standing there like an idiot when he said “I didn’t know you stuttered!” I would have said “Oh really, well I didn’t know you were such an ass hole! Guess we all learned something new today.” I tell people all the time that that is no excuse. And maybe people who are fluent or who haven’t dealt with things like this before don’t get why I take things like that so seriously. I think I have just gotten to the point where I’m done putting up with the BS of people thinking ignorance is an excuse to be rude and hateful. For example, if I saw someone walking strangely or limping or something of that nature I would NEVER point, laugh, or make a cruel joke. Does this mean that I know exactly what is going on that person’s situation? NO. It could be a number of medical things that are none of my business. You can wonder about someone all you want. Go for it. But DO NOT be so mindless as to open your mouth and laugh at a stranger.

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

                  Mark Twain

            I’m going to get down off my soap box now, guys. But the main reason I’m saying all of this, is to make sure no one else feels the same way I did. Never feel like you can’t stand up for yourself. Never let anyone make you feel less than human. Never let someone make you feel like you don’t deserve respect. Don’t let anyone take your dignity. 


Oh and 10 points and a gold star for anyone who gets the title of this post. :)